Friendships are supposed to be built on trust, support, and shared joy. A good friend celebrates your wins, encourages you in tough times, and stands beside you no matter what. The foundation of a healthy friendship is rooted in mutual respect, loyalty, and the genuine happiness of seeing each other grow. When the relationship is balanced, both people feel valued, understood, and supported through life’s ups and downs.

But sometimes, instead of genuine support, you may notice a subtle bitterness creeping in. A comment that feels more like a jab than encouragement, a smile that doesn’t quite reach their eyes, or a pattern of dismissing your achievements—these are often small but telling clues that jealousy is at play. What starts off as quiet envy can slowly erode the connection, making you feel guilty for your successes or anxious about sharing good news.

Jealousy is natural—we’ve all felt it at some point in life. Seeing someone else succeed while we’re struggling can stir up envy, and in small, fleeting doses, it’s human and harmless. But when envy takes root in a friendship, it can become toxic. Instead of feeling supported, you may feel as though you’re being judged, undermined, or even silently competed against. Over time, this can poison the bond and leave you questioning whether the relationship is truly healthy or worth keeping.

That’s why it’s so important to recognize the red flags early. By spotting the subtle signs of jealousy, you can protect your peace of mind, set healthy boundaries, and decide whether the friendship can be repaired—or if it’s time to step back. Not every jealous friend is malicious; sometimes insecurity drives their behavior, and with communication, the bond can be strengthened. But in other cases, protecting yourself means knowing when to let go.

To help you navigate these tricky dynamics, here are 20 signs a friend might be jealous of you—and what each one could mean for your relationship.

1. They Downplay Your Achievements

Instead of celebrating your wins, a jealous friend will minimize them. For example, if you land a promotion, they might say, “Oh, you just got lucky” or “It’s not that big of a deal.” This is a way of reducing your joy so they don’t feel overshadowed.

2. They Rarely Congratulate You Genuinely

A supportive friend shares in your excitement, but a jealous one might avoid congratulating you—or do so with a forced smile. Their tone or body language may suggest they’re not happy for you at all.

3. They Compare Themselves Constantly

Comparison is one of the strongest indicators of envy. They might frequently bring up their own successes in conversations about yours, turning the spotlight back on themselves.

4. They Give Backhanded Compliments

Instead of uplifting words, you may hear remarks like, “You look good… for once” or “That dress is nice, but I’d never wear something like that.” These hidden jabs disguise jealousy as humor.

5. They Imitate You Too Closely

Imitation can be flattering, but when a friend copies everything—from your style to your hobbies—it might signal jealousy rather than admiration. They may want to compete with you by mirroring your life.

6. They Seem Happy When You Fail

If your struggles bring a glimmer of joy to them, it’s a major red flag. They may act supportive on the surface, but deep down, your failure makes them feel better about themselves.

7. They Spread Gossip About You

Instead of protecting your reputation, a jealous friend might spread rumors or exaggerate your flaws to others. Gossiping is often their way of “leveling the playing field.”

8. They Withdraw When You Succeed

When good things happen to you, they suddenly distance themselves. Instead of being by your side, they may go quiet or avoid talking about your success altogether.

9. They Compete Rather Than Support

If you buy a new car, they rush to get one too. If you achieve something, they scramble to “one-up” you. Friendships shouldn’t feel like a constant competition, but jealousy often turns them into rivalries.

10. They Don’t Show Up for You

A jealous friend may find excuses not to attend your celebrations, whether it’s your birthday, graduation, or promotion party. Avoiding these moments allows them to dodge feelings of envy.

11. They Criticize Your Choices Excessively

Instead of respecting your decisions, they’ll nitpick and criticize. Whether it’s your career path, relationships, or lifestyle, they’ll try to make you second-guess yourself.

12. They Act Overly Secretive About Their Own Life

While they pry into your successes, they may guard their own updates closely. This secrecy comes from a fear of being compared or outshined.

13. They Rarely Offer Genuine Support

When you’re in need, they may appear “too busy” or uninterested. Their lack of emotional availability highlights that your happiness doesn’t matter to them as much as their own pride.

14. They Undermine Your Confidence

A jealous friend might plant seeds of doubt with comments like, “Are you sure you can handle that job?” or “Do you really think he likes you?” The goal is to make you second-guess yourself.

15. They Turn Conversations Back to Themselves

No matter what’s going on in your life, they manage to redirect the discussion. Instead of listening, they use your achievements as a springboard to brag about themselves.

16. They Exclude You from Plans

Another subtle way jealousy shows up is when they leave you out of gatherings or group activities. Exclusion is their way of regaining a sense of control or importance.

17. They Post Subtle Digs on Social Media

Pay attention to their online behavior. They may share cryptic posts that seem like indirect shots at you or flaunt their own achievements immediately after you share yours.

18. They Pretend Not to Notice Your Efforts

Even when you’ve clearly put effort into something—like dressing up, achieving a milestone, or completing a project—they act as if it’s unworthy of acknowledgment.

19. They Sabotage You Subtly

Whether it’s “forgetting” to pass along an opportunity or giving poor advice, jealous friends sometimes work behind the scenes to hold you back.

20. You Feel Drained Around Them

Perhaps the biggest sign is how you feel after spending time with them. Instead of uplifted, you feel drained, belittled, or uneasy. Your intuition often picks up on envy long before your mind rationalizes it.

Why Friends Become Jealous

Jealousy in friendships often has little to do with you personally and much more to do with the other person’s insecurities. When someone struggles with feelings of inadequacy or low self-worth, they may find it hard to celebrate another person’s achievements. Your happiness, instead of inspiring them, becomes a painful reminder of what they feel they lack.

For example, if your friend is dissatisfied with their job and you land a promotion, they may struggle to genuinely congratulate you. Or if they feel insecure about their appearance, they might react negatively when you receive compliments. In these moments, your success unintentionally highlights their own frustrations, making it difficult for them to separate their personal struggles from your joy.

It’s important to understand that jealousy doesn’t automatically make someone a bad friend—it makes them human. We’ve all felt pangs of envy at some point. However, the difference lies in how a person handles those feelings. A healthy, self-aware friend will acknowledge their jealousy privately, work through it, and still show up to support you. On the other hand, an unhealthy response to envy leads to passive-aggressive comments, withdrawal, or even attempts to undermine your happiness.

There are also deeper reasons jealousy can appear in friendships:

• Unresolved personal struggles: If your friend is going through a rough time, your wins may unintentionally magnify their struggles.
• Competitive mindset: Some people view relationships through a “competition lens,” believing that another’s success means their own failure.
• Fear of being left behind: A friend might worry that as you grow, you’ll outgrow them, leading to jealousy rooted in fear of abandonment.
• Comparison culture: Social media and societal pressure often fuel unhealthy comparisons, making envy more likely to seep into friendships.

Recognizing these underlying causes doesn’t excuse hurtful behavior, but it can help you view jealousy with compassion. By seeing it for what it is—a reflection of their inner struggles rather than a direct attack on you—you can respond with empathy while still protecting your own emotional boundaries.

How to Handle a Jealous Friend

Recognizing the signs is just the first step. Once you’re aware, you can decide how to protect your peace. Here are some strategies:

• Set Boundaries: Limit what you share if their reactions hurt you.
• Address It Gently: Sometimes, an honest conversation can clear the air.
• Avoid Competing: Don’t feed the rivalry by trying to “outdo” them.
• Surround Yourself with Positivity: Spend more time with supportive people.
• Know When to Walk Away: If the jealousy becomes toxic, it may be time to let go of the friendship.

Final Thoughts

Friendship should be about love, respect, and shared growth—not hidden rivalry. A healthy bond between friends thrives on mutual support, where both people can shine without fear of judgment or competition. True friends lift each other up, celebrate each other’s milestones, and provide a safe space to share both joys and struggles.

If you notice the signs of jealousy in your friend, don’t ignore them or brush them aside. Pretending they don’t exist will only create deeper cracks in the foundation of the relationship. Instead, take time to reflect on how their behavior affects you. Sometimes jealousy can be resolved through honest conversations, reassurance, and patience. Other times, the issue runs deeper, rooted in insecurity or unresolved personal struggles that you cannot fix for them.

Addressing jealousy early is important—it can either save a friendship by fostering understanding, or help you recognize when the relationship is no longer healthy for you. Setting boundaries, protecting your emotional well-being, and knowing when to step away are acts of self-respect, not selfishness.

At the end of the day, true friends don’t compete with you or resent your success—they celebrate it with genuine joy. They clap for you when you win, stand beside you when you struggle, and remind you that there is enough happiness and success in the world for everyone. Surround yourself with people who inspire, encourage, and honor your growth. Those are the friendships worth keeping, because they make life not only brighter—but also more meaningful.